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Golden News
Volume 18, Number 4 - Monday 26 July
2004
The official bulletin of the Rotary
Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and to "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002 This Week's Meeting:
Our guest speaker this week is Mr. Gabriel Vong who will be speaking to us
on "Origami".
For a moment there, Mrs. Phantom became rather excited, as she thought it was a chat about "Orgasms", because she always wanted to know what they were, having only read about them in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. Poor girl. . ++++++
From Under The Kitchen
Sink: Our spy in the Holiday Inn kitchen, Vincent "You Want Fries With That?" Lam,
informs us that this week's fare is Western
food, namely mushroom cream soup, followed by a choice of
either grilled salmon on leek cream & saffron potatoes or penne pasta
with fresh vegetables, finishing with mango puff slices with green tea
Ice-Cream, coffee or tea.
Milestones: Birthday
greetings for: 26 July to PP Joseph "Klu Klux" Kwan, who shares his
birthday with British movie director Blake Edwards, who directed such
classics as the hilarious "Pink Panther" series of movies, starring
Peter Sellers as the bumbling Chief Inspector
Clouseau.
++++++
KGM Induction Anniversary greetings to:
Nobody - there are no KGM celebrating an
Induction Anniversary this week.
Former
Member Update:
Yes folks, he's alive & well, and he's
still terrorising Tokyo like Godzilla under the influence of
Carlsberg and Viagra.
 Our dear old mate and former KGM member
Steve "Not Like That, Like That"
Evans (pictured at left), has been in contact with The
Phantom, and he's given us due warning that he will soon be darkening our
doorstep.
If you have a daughter (or possibly a
female Shih Tzu in heat), send her to Zambia (or to the SPCA). And do it
now. Or buy a shotgun. A very large shotgun.
Although Steve cannot yet confirm the
dates of his planned visit to Hong Kong, I'll publish full details as soon
as I know them. In the interim, KGM members who know Steve and remember
him fondly (anybody?), can find Steve's contact details on his (rather
impressive) website.
Warning: Before you click on the
"A Word From Our CEO" link on
Steve's website, I urge you to put down any hot beverages and extinguish
any lighted cigarette in your hands, or at least place them well out of
harm's way.
I wasn't given any warning, so I had
to sing soprano for two days, but the burns are healing fairly
well.
Semi-Annual Dues: FINAL
Reminder
Yes folks, it's the final week to once again to pay your dues of $1,500 for the period 1 July to 31 December 2004, and you have two payment options: 1) By cash handed directly to KGM Treasurer Rajiv "Show Me The Money" Makhija; 2) By cheque payable to "Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden
Mile" mailed to P.O.
Box 98129, Tsimshatsui, Kowloon.
If you elect to pay by cheque, remember to clearly write your name on the back of the cheque,
because our overworked and unpaid Treasurer doesn't always know which
company name belongs to which member. If you don't pay your dues on or before Friday 30 July 2004, you will be severely spanked, but not in the fun way you like. You have been warned. Fellowship News:
No report from yet from the "Le French Kissing" night fellowship held at "GIGI" restaurant last Saturday evening, and we suspect that this is because our undercover photographer is still developing the blackmail photos of IPP Patricia, PE Elissa, PP Ebe and Susie performing their rousing rendition of "Oooh La-La, do you like my frilly knickers?" Can-Can dance. Bwa-ha-ha. We also don't have any details about the next
fellowship evening planned for August either, so this section is, like
much of our weekly bulletin, a load of useless filler.
Watch this space ------>
<------ for more news sometime in the future.
++++++
2004/2005 Annual Ball: Our illustrious Ball Chairman PE Elissa "Babushka Peanuts" Cohen has
announced that the KGM Annual Ball for the current Rotary year
will be held on Saturday 11 June
2005 at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, Wanchai North, our usual
venue.
Mark your diaries (or tap frantically on your PDA) now! District 3450 News & Events:
Upcoming District 3450
events:
Rotary
International News:
New: Read about the new RI President's "Four Emphases" during
his presidency - here.
Repeat: Download your personal copy of
"Rotary World" - here. Repeat:
Visit the web pages of RI President Glenn E.
Estess - here Repeat:
July is Rotary International's Literacy Month - information.
Repeat:
Order the Rotary Centennial
book online - here
In other RI news: 1. Learn about the various Rotary International Programs on the RI
website - details.
2. Read all about the ongoing plans for the
RI Centennial in 2005 -
details.
Rotary Information: Selecting the RI President: Each year, a distinguished Rotarian is selected as the worldwide president of Rotary International. The process begins one year in advance when a 17-person nominating committee is elected from separate zones of the world. To qualify for the nominating committee, a Rotarian must have served on the RI Board of Directors. If there is no past director able to serve from the zone, a past trustee of The Rotary Foundation or a past governor who has served on an RI committee may be appointed to the nominating committee. The nominating committee may consider all former RI directors for the presidential candidate. Members of the nominating committee and current directors are not eligible. Any Rotary club may suggest the name of a former RI director to the committee for consideration. The committee convenes in September to select the Rotarian to be the presidential nominee, whose name is announced to all clubs. Any Rotary club may make an additional nomination before 1 December, which must then be endorsed by one percent of all the Rotary clubs of the world (about 300). If such an event occurs, an election is held by mail ballot. If no additional nomination is presented by the clubs, the person selected by the nominating committee is declared to be the president-nominee. From that point on, that special Rotarian and spouse will spend more than a year in preparation and then a year serving the Rotarians of the world as the international president.. From
The Web (and WAP) Monster:
Your Grumpy (but nonetheless cuddly and lovable) Web
Monster is delighted to announce yet
another first for KGM. Yes folks, if I'm not
mistaken, KGM is the first Rotary Club
in District 3450 to offer a WAP site?
What's that, you ask? Well, in very simple terms, a WAP site is basically a small website which you can access and view from your cellular telephone. All you need to have is GPRS configured on your cellular telephone
(ask your service provider for details) and, bingo bango, suddenly you're
a cool WAP surfer dude. Sure, the information can't be as extensive as a
website but, each week, you can at least see:
-:and, of course, a silly riddle-type question and
answer.
The address of the new KGM WAP site is http://wappy.to/rckgm and, depending on
the model telephone you use, you access your GPRS connection from the
"Services" or a similar menu.
Please note though that this is just a trial in order
to get member feedback (hence the funny "wappy" address and "wappy" logo -
it's a free service). However if you think this is a worthwhile
improvement, then I'll actually create a special WAP page linked
to our website. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
By the way, if you'd like a "Bookmark" sent to you (just like the
"Favorites" in your web browser), just send an SMS Text to the WAP Monster on +852 9011
0088 (or email
him with your cellular telephone number), and he will happily
send it to you by return SMS text, to save you having to type it
out.
Golden Smile: It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his
date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail
hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father answers and
invites him in and says: "Since Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't
you have a seat?".
Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they're planning to
do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt
shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's father responds, "Why don't you kids go out
and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and
he says "Whaaaat???"
"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father, "Peggy Sue really
likes to screw. Heck, she'll screw all night long if we let her."
Bobby's eyes understandably light up and he smiles from
ear to ear, and he immediately revises his plans for the evening.
A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her
little poodle skirt and saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front
door while dad is saying "Have a good evening kids," with a wink.
About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy
Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at
her father: "For heaven's sake, daddy, it's called 'The Twist' !!!".
Quotable Quotes:
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound
the sand. I beat people up.".
Mohammad Ali (1977) Bumper Sticker Of The Week:  If you want to save the bumper sticker for use in email or on a website, put your mouse pointer over the top, right-click, and select "Save Picture As". The
Phantom
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If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, unsubscribe. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2004 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.