|
|
|
|
|
Golden News
Volume 18, Number 14 - Monday 4 October
2004
The official bulletin of the Rotary
Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and to "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002 Visit our award winning website Also see our Cellular WAP Sites: http://tagtag.com/rckgm & http://tagtag.com/d3450 This Week's Meeting:
Our guest speaker this Wednesday is
Mr. Tim Spencer who will be
speaking to us about "Making
Violins".
++++++
From
Inside The Pantry: Our spy in the Holiday Inn kitchen,
Vincent Lam "Chop", informs us
that this week's fare is Western
food namely fresh tomato soup with onions & mushrooms,
followed by either pan-fried fillet of sole "nantua" garnished with
shrimps, truffles, piemento rice & vegetables or cannelloni
with spinach, cottage cheese and baked with parmesan cheese, ending with
chestnut chocolate slice, plus coffee or tea.
Milestones: Birthday
greetings for: 7 October for Elissa "Babushka" Cohen, who shares her birthday with Russian President Vladimir Putin (how appropriate!). 8 October for Anthony "Inspector Clouseau" Wong, who
shares his birthday with Australian actor Paul Hogan.
9 October for Balu "Kojak" Chainrai, who shares his
birthday with singer/songwriter Jackson Browne.
++++++
KGM Induction Anniversary greetings to:
Jane "Miss
Punctuality" Singer, who was inducted on 6 October 1999, and therefore celebrates
her 5th Anniversary with
KGM.
Fellowship News:
Our young mate "Lady" Diana Yeung has finally returned to civilisation and immediately announced the next KGM Fellowship Event, which will be a Russian Night to be held at the Butterfields Club, Dorset House, Taikoo Place, Quarry Bay on Friday 15 October 2004, as follows: 6:30 p.m. - Welcome drink
7:00 p.m. - Dinner Buffet 8:30 p.m. - Live Music (Boris and the Boogie Bolsheviks) 9:15 p.m. - Entertainment (this does not include impromptu performances by our very own PE2B Elissa "Babushka" Cohen) Price : $228 per
comrade.
The buffet boasts a comprehensive selection of famous
Russian delicacies, including Egg Russki, Miasnaia Selianka soup, Halupki,
Zharkoye, Patychyk and various other items I cannot pronounce. I think
they also have salad.
Spaces are limited, so contact Diana by email
now.
Fund-Raising
- Reminder: Our old mate and fitness guru Susie "Madam Lash" Misini, advises that she has entered the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon, an event which covers a distance of 42km which takes place on Sunday 10 October 2004. This will be Susie's 7th marathon, and it's also the
2nd marathon where she will be running to raise money for KGM's Community
Service Fund. KGM members interested in sponsoring Susie should make
their pledges by email.
As a sponsorship incentive, the following bonuses will be awarded:
No
sponsorship: A severe spanking, but not in a fun
way.
Up to $500:
A sloppy kiss on the cheek.
$501
to $1,000: A sloppy kiss on the cheek and a
light spanking (the way you really like it)
$1,001
to $2,000: An autographed photo of Susie wearing
her "Xena, Princess Warrior"
outfit (plus a light spanking)
$1 million or
more: A weekend in Macau (plus multiple spankings, with
feeling).
District 3450 News & Events:
Upcoming District
events:
"A Day At The Races", 23
February 2005 - details.
Rotary
International News:
Repeat: Various presentations on
Rotary's history, in either "PDF" or "PowerPoint" format, are now
available for download from the Rotary International website - details.
Repeat: William B. Boyd, of the RC Pakuranga,
Auckland, New Zealand, is the selection of RI's Nominating Committee for
President of RI in 2006-07. He will become the president-nominee on 1
December if there are no challenging candidates - details.
Repeat: The
RI Centennial Convention will
be held from Saturday 18 June
2005 in Chicago - information.
Repeat: An appeal for funds to help purchase
RI Founder Paul Harris' home
in Chicago - information.
Repeat: Read about the new RI President's "Four Emphases" during
his presidency - here.
Repeat: Download your personal copy of
"Rotary World" - here. Repeat: Order the Rotary Centennial book online - here Rotary Information: Council On Legislation: In the early days of Rotary, any change in the RI Bylaws or Constitution was proposed and voted upon at the annual convention. As attendance at conventions increased and open discussion became more difficult, a Council on Legislation was created in 1934 as an advisory group to debate and analyze proposals before they were voted on by the convention. Finally, at the 1970 Atlanta convention, it was decided that the Council on Legislation would actually become the legislative or parliamentary body of Rotary. The council is composed of one delegate from each Rotary district and well as several ex-officio members. It was agreed that the council would meet every three years at a time other than the RI Convention. The council has the responsibility of considering and acting upon all "enactments," which are proposed changes in the Rotary International Bylaws and Constitution and the Standard Rotary Club Constitution, and "resolutions," which are recommendations to the RI Board for policy, program, and procedural changes. Proposals may be submitted by any Rotary club, district, or the RI Board. The council's actions are subject to review by all the Rotary clubs of the world before they become final. If 10 percent of the voting strength of the clubs oppose a council action, such legislation is suspended and it is submitted to all the clubs for a final vote. The Council on Legislation provides the membership of Rotary with a democratic process for legislative change in the operations of Rotary International. KGM Note: A number of new resolutions were adopted at the last Council On Legislation, and The Phantom is currently reviewing them to see which ones will affect the daily operation of our club. Full details will be provided in a future issue of Golden News. Golden Smile: Sexercise For Losing
Calories: For many years it has been noted that sex
was actually good exercise but, until now, nobody had made a scientific
study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now
after considerable research, we are proud to present the results.
Removing Her
Clothing:
With her consent ............ 12 Calories
Without her consent ....1,287 Calories Opening Her
Bra:
With both hands ............... 8 Calories
With one hand .................12 Calories With your teeth ............. 485 Calories With false teeth .......... 1,346 Calories
Putting On A
Condom:
With an erection ............... 6 Calories
Without an erection .... 3,315 Calories Sexual
Positions:
Missionary ................................. 12 Calories
Standing .................................. 178 Calories On the kitchen table ................. 812 Calories Doggy style ............................. 216 Calories (With barking & yelping) ............ 826 Calories Swinging from a chandelier ..... 2,912 Calories Orgasms:
Real .......................... 112 Calories
Fake .......................1,315 Calories Post
Coital:
Lying in bed hugging .......... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately ........ 36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately ....... 816 Calories
Attempting "Round 2" if you
are:
20-29 years ................. 36 Calories
30-39 years ................. 80 Calories 40-49 years ............... 124 Calories 50-59 years ............ 1,972 Calories 60-69 years ............ 7,916 Calories 70 and over ............ Don't even think about it Dressing
Afterwards:
Calmly ............................................... ......32
Calories
In a hurry ............................................... 98 Calories With her father knocking at the door ..... 5,218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door .... 13,521 Calories Results may vary.
Quotable Quotes:
"Humour is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you
ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?".
Dick Clark
Bumper Sticker Of The Week: If you want to save the bumper sticker for use in email or on a website, put your mouse pointer over the top, right-click, and select "Save Picture As". The
Phantom
|
If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, unsubscribe. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2004 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.